The Marriage of 50-50 FAILS
I’ve heard the experts say that you never want to marry someone to complete you – that you and your spouse should be complete people prior to marriage but I’d never heard the concept of a marriage or 50-50 effort fails but now that I think about it – that makes sense.
Dennis Rainey explains-: As we teach at our Weekend to Remember marriage getaways, the 50/50 Plan is destined to fail for several reasons:
Many people unknowingly base their acceptance of their spouses on performance. Performance becomes the glue that holds the relationship together, but it isn’t really glue at all. It’s more like Velcro. It seems to stick, but it comes apart when a little pressure is applied.
Giving is based on merit. With the “meet me halfway” approach, a spouse would give affection when they feel its earned. Motivation for action is based on how each partner feels. Ultimately, the world’s plan, the 50/50 performance relationship, is destined to fail because it is contrary to God’s plan.
What a marriage needs is the superglue of Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than yourselves.” It’s what we refer to as the 100/100 Plan, which requires a 100 percent effort from each of you to serve your spouse.
The Bible describes this plan well in Matthew 22:39: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” There’s no closer neighbor than the one you wake up to each morning! Start by stating the 100/100 Plan like this: “I will do what I can to love you without demanding an equal amount in return.” love requires sacrifice. Stick with the 100/100 Plan and you will see increasing cooperation and intimacy in your marriage.