It’s a tough reality – your kids will grow up! Since they were born you think about their every need. You want them to be successful, respect others and get a good job but when that actually happens it can be a tough pill to swallow! Having said “till we come to visit”with another child recently – we thought we’d share some tips on making the adjustment. Here’s portions of a great article Ways to stay close when kids grow up and move away…
SHOW RESPECT Search for any excuse to offer a compliment. If you catch yourself being critical, make at least five positive comments or actions before the end of your call or visit. Research has shown that a positive-to-negative interaction ratio of five-to-one or better can help maintain closeness in our relationships with our children (and our own spouses, too).
DON’T GIVE ADVICE If your adult child requests your advice, say, “I’m happy to help you sort through the pros and cons, but it’s your decision to make, and I know you’ll make the right choice.” Provide direct advice only if the adult child is about to make a massive and potentially irreversible misstep.
BEFRIEND YOUR CHILD’S SPOUSE Search for ways to support and praise your sons- and daughters-in-law — even if you don’t really care for them. Warning: The fact that your child criticizes his/her spouse to you does not mean that you are free to criticize that spouse, too. What you take as serious criticisms might just be your child venting normal frustrations.
DON’T INTRUDE Select noninvasive communication methods like emails, messages or texts OR Care packages unexpected mail is always fun! Warning: Do not follow up your packages with calls. These calls could make it seem like you are fishing for a thank-you or an invitation to visit. Gifts are most effective as relationship builders when there are no strings attached.